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How to play Dahimi

Who: 3-5 players
What: deck of cards, no jokers

The object of the game is to get rid of all your cards (like asshole but better).

First hand:
Deal all the cards evenly, except the last four (last two if playing with five people). Leave these in the middle. Arrange your cards in numerical order three through ace, Three being lowest. Twos, however, are higher than aces (this is weird, but you'll get used to it). A wild card (as yet to be determined) is higher than the two.
So card heirarchy is wild, two, ace, king, queen, etc, three. Once you all are organized, everyone flip a leftover card (playing with five, wait a minute). The highest card goes first. The lowest card determines the wild-- one number above the lowest card is the wild. If a five is the lowest card, then sixes are wild (playing with five, flip now to determine the wild). Easy.

The wild changes every hand.

Now we play. Whoever drew the highest card goes first, and we go clockwise from there (if playing with five, whoever dealt goes first). He plays whatever he wants-- a three. The next person has to play a four or better, then I play a five or better, etc. NO MATCHING. No three on a three, four on a four. You also don't have to play if you don't want to. Passing is a good strategic option. If a two is played, only a wild would beat it (wilds can be thrown at any time). When play gets to a point where everybody passes or a wild is thrown, whoever was the last to play gets to lead again, whatever they want.

The first one to play all their cards is the president.

The last one with cards left is the asshole.

The asshole has to shuffle and deal the next hand.

Wrinkle #1: playing pairs and triples. You may lead a pair. You may lead three of a kind. Even four of a kind. But you must play a pair on pair, trips on trips, etc. NO MATCHING. In these scenarios, a wild card is not a joker. If sixes are wild, you must play a pair of sixes. Or three sixes. Just remember, pair on a pair, trips on trips, etc.

Second and all subsequent hands:
Asshole shuffles and deals, leaving same number of cards in the middle.

DO NOT PICK A WILD YET.

Wrinkle #2: when everything is sorted, the asshole gives his two best cards to the president, and the president returns his two worst. The vice-president exchanges one card with the vice-asshole. This is an honor system.
Cheating will get you the asshole chair because someone will catch you.

Wrinkle #3: after cards are exchanged, the asshole flips a leftover card to determine the wild, same as before, one above the card flipped is wild (flip a five, six is wild). Keep flipping until the wild card is less than a ten (wilds shouldn't be face cards or up, but if that's all that's left pick the lowest). Here's where the asshole can get lucky- very often the president will give the asshole an eventual wild card. Begin play again, the asshole leads (another perk for the layman), with play continuing around the table taking the farthest route to the president, ie if the president is seated to the immediate left of the asshole, rotation goes to the right.

Wrinkle #4: bong hits can be called by anyone at anytime.

Play until you get bored.

End play is just enough thinking to enjoy it, and not enough to get real frustrated (unless you keep losing).

If this is confusing, give it a few hands before you quit. It's a lot of fun.

And you don't have to get up.
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